Sunday, November 29, 2009

Enjoying the Go in the Lap of Luxury- Antonio

It was a gorgeous day in New York City and I felt like a million bucks. Now, there are days when I feel like my last name is Rockefeller and I own the city. (These tend to be horrible days for my wallet.) Yesterday was one of those days.

So I headed out to The Plaza Hotel to start my journey and find some fancy loos. Nothing says luxury quite like The Plaza. The restrooms were gorgeous: beautiful white marble floors and walls. The toilets and urinals were very sophisticated, finished off with brushed nickel faucets. I pulled out my camera to take a picture of this fancy bathroom, but instead got my first lesson of the day. DO NOT PULL OUT A CAMERA WHEN MEN HAVE THEIR FLY DOWN. It makes them very uncomfortable and you will get collective grunts and menacing looks.

Anyway, after walking around like one of the kids on Gossip Girl, I headed out to do some “shopping”. I was in the market for a Tiffany engagement ring, a Cartier watch, and lunch with Donald Trump. (I pretended to buy all of these so I could check out their lounges. Stores like these don’t have bathrooms; they have lounges.)

Here’s the skinny: The lounge at Tiffany is really nice. I especially like the floor-to-ceiling oak door to the very spacious stall and the platinum, diamond-studded cufflinks that would look great with my tux (oh sorry, back to the bathroom). The ecru wallpaper with Tiffany style links looks great with the marble tiles and wooden slats on the floor. Oh, but those cufflinks…

The security guards at Trump Tower were neither pleased nor amused when I told them I had a meeting with Mr. Trump and then confessed I was just checking out the bathrooms. The opulent restrooms were covered floor to ceiling in rose, mauve and taupe colored marble, golden fixtures, and a neat lil’ angular entrance. I snapped a picture of it and was quickly reminded, though, that cameras in or around the restroom are not very welcome.

My next stop was my favorite, and potentially most disastrous one: CARTIER!! Ok…there’s a Cartier watch that I absolutely looooove, so of course I tried it on. Caught up in my story that I was getting a Christmas present for my dad (Mr. Rockefeller, of course), I tried on a couple of different watches and am now officially obsessed with the Large Steel “Ronde Solo” which, to quote the salesman, is “wonderfully priced at $2,625.” For about 7 seconds I considered buying it but reminded myself that rent is due soon and I can’t live for three months in a watch (or can I?). I am, however, accepting gifts for the holiday season, so don’t be shy…a collective gift is fine too. Well, three watches and two obsessions later I left Cartier empty handed. Oh, about the restroom…well, people in fantasies tend to get distracted from their objective by shiny stuff. Yup, I forgot to go.

At this point I figured it was in my wallet’s best interest that I stop being a Rockefeller and came back to reality. My conclusion, though: “Enjoying the go” in the lap of luxury still requires good toilet paper even if dispensed from a silver Tiffany pedestal and not even a Cartier watch will delay when it’s time to ‘go’.

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